Speed Dial: 60-Second Marketing Insight Newsletter

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Averting Your Own Natural Disasters Nonverbal Business Communication By Marie Elwood, Marketing Strategy Consultant  June 8, 2010 - Speed Dial Issue 34

Watch the ball, watch the ball, watch the ball, set up SWING THROUGH!

Coming back wide, run-run-run-GOT it! Ahhhh, into the net. You’ve got to start picking on her backhand. Send it to the BACKHAND. I don’t care if you hit it short, hit it deep, or freakin’ frame it, just get it to her backh…

What…what’s that? Did I just hear my name?

“Marie, you look like you’re going to tear someone’s head off!”, shouts my friend Tony, breaking up both my concentration and “killer game face” with his contagious laughter.

Oh, not again! When other people are lost in concentration, they look wise, authoritative, even zen-like. Not me. I look like a maniacal axe murderer.

I don’t mean to look mean- - I’m just focused on that fuzzy little yellow ball. Looking angry when I concentrate is one of my own ‘natural disasters’, and if I don’t want to look like Lizzie Borden in the board room, I have to manage it.

The way I see it, a ‘natural disaster’ occurs when we want to communicate one thing but our body betrays us. Left uncorrected, these personal idiosyncracies can sneak in and sabotage our best intentions. The good news is that with a little practice, we can avert our own natural disasters.

Are any of these nonverbal cues undercutting your communication?

- Crossed Arms: When you’re talking with people today, do a few random checks to see if you're crossing your arms in front of you. Surprised? You’re not alone- - most of us use this subconscious defense mechanism habitually.

Disaster Relief: When we cross our arms, we put up a wall between us & the outside world. I remedy this by getting in touch with my inner Ronald Reagan: “Mrs. Elwood: Tear! Down! That! Wall!”- - no more cold war.

- Touchy-Feely Contact: If you’re a warm, good-natured person, you may find it completely natural to express your affection with hugs, squeezes, & pats. But to those of the opposite gender, this sort of unbounded physical expression is usually more repellant than endearing.

Disaster Relief: Don’t shut off the warmth you feel for your business associates- - just find other ways to communicate it. Try expressing your affection & openness in your handshake, tone of voice, & laugh instead.

- Absent Eye Contact: If you’re in the habit of looking at the ground, scanning the room, or glancing at your phone when someone’s carrying on a conversation with you, just stop, get up and walk away mid-sentence.  

What?!

You’d never do that- - it’s too hurtful, disrespectful, & damaging.  But don’t kid yourself- - when you aren’t giving the person you’re with the basic courtesy and respect of looking at them when they speak, they feel it. 

Disaster Relief: When you’re having a conversation, focus exclusively on the person speaking with you until they’re finished. There’s no need use a stalker stare to burn a hole in their corneas- - just relax & give them your full attention. When it’s time to move on, move on; until then, the eyes have it.

My point today is this: It’s natural to make mistakes when it comes to non-verbal communication. We all do it. But once we discover our own natural disasters, some simple relief efforts can get us right back on track.
 

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